


You are worthy

by BlackSmile



Series: How to travel in time [3]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Historical RPF
Genre: Asexual Character, But only a little, F/F, Flirting, Gen, Schönbrunn palace, Some Fluff, Some Swearing, Some angst, Vienna, and mentions of sex, but only mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 07:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8658448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackSmile/pseuds/BlackSmile
Summary: Let's visit Vienna! Let's visit the Empress! Let's get run over by a dog! Let's comfort the Empress in her insecurities... wait, what?At least there's a lovely maid.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote on this for 2h. Then my phone crashed. Wrote it again for 2h. Don't like it as much as the first version, but well...It's 2am now and I hope you enjoy it!

“Why is history so depressing?” It wasn’t meant to be a question, not really. More of a statement to the universe.

“It isn’t, actually. It’s just that the human brain tends to remember the bad things more than the good things. Funny thing actually, no wonder you people have to fight with so many mental diseases.” The Doctor sat down next to me and handed me a cup of coffee.

“Don’t make fun of mental diseases, they’re the worst.” I replied, sipping on the wonderful, wonderful coffee. The Doctor had been right, when wasn’t he, coffee from the 34th century was the best. I was going to miss it when he would drop me off again.

He gave me a compassionate look. “You have experience with them?”

“I don’t want to talk about that.” I immediately said and drank some more coffee. He might be taking me on adventures beyond my wildest imaginations, didn’t mean I had to tell him personal things. He didn’t tell me anything about himself, so why should I?

“Sure.” Was his brief response and he drank his own coffee.

We sat like that for a while, on the threshold of the TARDIS, legs dangling into nothing and staring at the galaxies around us. It was quite refreshing, for once not running from any aliens, just sitting and looking at the vast universe. Made me feel really small.

“So, where to next?” The Doctor asked after a few minutes of silence, the only sounds the faint humming of the TARDIS in the background.

I pondered. We had just come from the Japanese Middle Ages. Not a very pleasant time for white people. Especially since I found out that maybe they hadn’t been so very wrong about all of their demons and ghosts… I shuddered and looked into my, almost empty, coffee. “How about Vienna?”

“I thought I already visited Vienna with you.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Another guided tour through the palace for one person in the middle of the night?”

I laughed a bit. Still hadn’t figured out how he had managed that, but I was far beyond the point where I would still ask questions. “No, even though that was great!” It had been great, exploring almost every room in the light of a candle with the Doctor as a guide. He had read a book about the palace beforehand, I had seen it lying around. “I would like to visit it again. Say, about a hundred forty years in the past?”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “Want to visit the Empress?”

I grinned. “You guessed it!”

“Well then, no time to waste.” He stood up and offered me his hand. “Let’s visit Vienna again.”

Eagerly I took his hand and basically jumped up. After making sure the doors were properly closed, I joined him in the middle of the main room.

He threw one glance at me and sighed as he saw my huge grin. “Go on, you know where the wardrobe is.”

With an exciting chortle I ran off to look for suitable clothes.

 

We didn’t visit Vienna straight away, the Doctor insisted to stop by in 1867 in Budapest. I couldn’t complain, we stood in the cheering crowd in front of the church as the royal couple emerged, heard their calls of praise all around until we eventually even joined. When they passed by our spot, I had to remind myself how to breath, and that surely not because of the corset. All the stories and tales never exaggerated, because right now I saw the empress Elisabeth right in front of me and, damn, she was beautiful. I would have questioned my sexuality in that moment, if I hadn’t already. Not to mention that dress. I had seen the replica up close during my private tour, but seeing it being worn by her was another thing entirely. We stood there, calling praise upon praise along with the crowd, until they eventually dissolved and we were two of few people remaining on the church square.

“That was fun, let’s do it again!” I croaked, my voice hoarse from all the calling and shouting.

The Doctor merely laughed, his voice as smooth as ever. “First you get some tea, then I’ll see what I can do.”

We walked through the streets back to the TARDIS, in my brain I already made up scenarios where we would get into the Hofburg Palace, or maybe even Schönbrunn! Seeing these places truly coming to life, once again talking to people who weren’t out of this time, I almost hopped in joy thinking about all of this. Oh, the anecdotes I could tell after this again…

 

Last time we had been in Schönbrunn palace, we had to use a backdoor and a window. Yes, both, in that order. The Doctor had said he didn’t like to park the TARDIS inside older buildings.

This time however we walked through the main gate and towards the main entrance to the palace. The large yard was quite empty, only a few people, most of them probably servants, rushing around here and there. Thinking about it, maybe climbing through a window while wearing a corset might not be such a good idea. At least it didn’t end well last time… I shuddered at the thought of falling down almost a whole floor like a sack of potatoes. Probably looked like that too.

“You okay?” The Doctor called me back to the present.

“Yeah… just remembering that time we broke into Bismarck’s office.”

He laughed. “Good times.”

Armed with a piece of blank paper we made our way to the palace’s entrance and were inside in a matter of minutes. We were seated in a smaller room with a view towards the yard from where we’d just come from. Pity, I would have loved to see the gardens from in here. While I stood by the window and watched the hustle and bustle in the yard, the Doctor went on and on about the family history of the Habsburgs. I listened only with one ear; I knew most of the stuff anyways.

Eventually I got tired of watching people walking about their way on the yard and sat down next to the Doctor. “So, what are we doing today? Lunch with the royal family? A ball tonight? Maybe hunting for some pretty maids?” I beamed at him after the last question.

“Another time maybe. Actually we’re waiting for a servant to bring us to the gardens where we might meet someone.”

My mood fell instantly and I put on my best pout. “But you said-“

“Look, crashing into medieval castles and accidentally befriending lords is one thing, meeting the royal family of one of the most important empires in early human history another. I can’t always keep what I say.”

“Great.” I muttered under my breath and stood up again, walking back to the window.

“You’re sulking again.” The Doctor sang with that awful mocking voice.

This time I didn’t even bother to argue. It would just play in his hands and end in one of his rambles about “things you mere humans can’t grasp with that small brain of yours”. “Wow, how’d you make that guess?” I shot back instead.

“Cause you always sulk if things aren’t as you want them to be?” The grin on his face was almost hearable.

“Not always!”

“Well you did break your foot because you just had to kick that boulder after a buffalo ran away from you…”

“I just wanted to pet it!” Okay, maybe I was sulking a little bit.

 

Apparently we had chosen a busy day for visiting. After half an hour a maid came by to tell us that we’d have to be a bit more patient. The same thing happened after another hour. In the end it was already afternoon when we finally were led into the gardens.

I hid a yawn in the palm of my hand. “Was about time…” I hissed to myself before beaming a smile at the maid who had accompanied us outside. She seemed confused, but blushed and smiled shyly nevertheless. By now I didn’t even try to hide my attraction towards women, it would always be mistaken for “funny behavior” anyways. However I was forbidden to play the “how much can I flirt until people start to throw things” game since the sheep incident. Doctor’s orders. In a way.

The gardens were peacefully quiet for the time of the day and by far not as tidy as I had expected them to be. Well, probably due to the lack of a lawn and garden tractor and various other modern equipment.

The Doctor had picked a nice day for a visit, he usually did. Of course there had been minor incidents during other visits, there were reasons to always carry an umbrella with me. Always.

There were barely any clouds in the, I assumed, late spring sky and the wind was just enough to prevent me from sweating. Quite in contrary to the Doctor who had already taken my fan captive. I grinned at him and jumped a little in my step. The gardens were even more beautiful without tourists everywhere. We were basically alone besides the few figures on the other side of the garden I could barely make out. I chose to ignore them as we continued to walk towards the far end where the big fountain stood and the path led up to the Gloriette.

“So… ever been here before?” I asked the Doctor while leaning against him.

I was surprised when he shook his head. “I did visit Vienne around this time, but never was out here.”

“Really,” I laughed, “This is quite rare, you have never been to a place we are at right night. That’s like a country England didn’t invade.”

“I am not that old.” The Doctor tried to protest, but it was already too late. Gasping for air and laughing at my own joke I leaned against him, burying my face in his shoulder. The created sounds made even the Doctor laugh.

We were thrown out of our position when suddenly a dog came running our way. A big dog. Probably a wolfhound, if a earlier version than the ones I knew. 

"Doggy!" I beamed. Crouching down and opening my arms the dog ran right into me, knocking me over. The he was above me, sniffing my face. 

I just laughed, my hands found their way to his neck and I started to ruffle his fur. The dog seemed to like it as he started to lick my face. 

Before I could even try to gently push him away, he was suddenly yanked backwards. 

Surprised I looked up to see a maid holding the dog on their collar, barely able to hold him back. "I am so terribly sorry. Are you alright, miss?" She stammered, a blush spreading on her cheeks. Damn, she was lovely! 

I was torn out of my thoughts when the Doctor suddenly helped me back on my feet. Quickly I cleaned off my dress and and beamed at her. "I'm alright. Everything's just fine." I felt the Doctor plucking something out of my hair. 

Still very embarressed the maid curtseid and attached a leash to the dogs collar. "Once again, very sorry. She's still very young and needs to be trained." 

"Awww, but why? She's such a good girl!" I crouched again and pet her head. "Such a goooood girl." 

The Doctor cleared his throat to signalize that my behaviour might not be very appropriate. I glared at him and gave the dog a last pet before rising.

Another person clearing their throat turned our attention to the small group of people who had seemed to appear out of nowhere. It was the Empress with a few maids behind her.

I curtsied and didn't dare to look up again, simply stared at the hem of her black skirt. Suddenly I felt so vulnerable, almost naked under her gaze. Not threatened. Merely observing. There was a soft edge to it. Barely recognizeable, but there. Blink and you'll miss it. 

She didn't speak. One of her maids stepped forward. "Please excuse her majesty. She's very exhausted and needs to rest. She hopes you have a pleasant day." With that they hurried off. In a speed that explained how they had crossed the gardens within a matter of minutes. The maid with the dog smiled shily before following them. I was almost certain the smile was for me.

"Well, that was awkward." The Doctor stated after a silent moment.

"Must've picked the darker days." I agreed, my mood digging itself into the ground.

We spent another few hours in the gardens. Had some tasty sandwiches for lunch and a glass of fancy wine as the evening approached. After that, we slowly made our way back to the TARDIS. The yard in front of the palace was even emptier than before. In fact, there was only one soldier maintaining the lights. We greeted him and he greeted back. 

We were almost by the gates when someone shouted: "Excuse me! Sir! Miss!"

Surprised we turned around to find a maid running towards us. She stopped in front of us and took a moment to catch her breath. "Her majesty wishes to see you." 

The Doctor and I looked at each other. He had an eyebrow raised, I grinned excited at him. I held this for a while until he sighed and his shoulders sagged. "Of course." 

"Please follow me." The maid said and turned around, heading back to the palace.

 

Once again we were seated in a small room and I prepared to wait again. This however was unnecessary, as just minutes later the lovely maid from before entered the room. "Her majesty will see you now." She smiled shily. This time I was sure it was just for me. 

She hesitated when we both rose from our seats. "I am sorry, sir. She only wishes to speak to the young lady." 

The Doctor and I exchanged a look. "Are you okay with this?" he asked. We had only been separated once so far. Hadn't ended very pleasant. 

"I'll be fine." I assured him.

He nodded and pulled me into a hug. "If anything happens, call me." He whispered and secretly handed me my mobile phone. 

Quickly I hid it in the fold of my skirt. He always claimed my phone since the incident with the Aboriginies. "I will. Thanks." I whispered back.

 

Elisabeth's chamber was more lit than I had expected. Then again, I didn't know why I had expected something like a tomb.

She sat at a low table. An untouched biscuit and a glass of water on it. She looked out of the window, didn't tear her gaze away when she gestured at the second chair next to the table. "Sit. Please."

For a moment I didn't move, then I slowly made my way to the chair and carefully sat down. It creaked slightly.

Then we sat in silence.

I didn't know what to do, as she looked outside and I looked at her. She was beautiful. Gorgeous. Not something to lust for, not something to desire or claim. Something to admire, to love, to gaze at from afar in awe.

Suddenly she turned her head and I felt embaressed to have stared. Immediately I looked down at my folded hands. 

"I am sorry to have you called back when you were about to leave." She said. Her voice was rough, as if not used for a long time, but still there was softness in it. The cold gaze from before was gone, replaced by kindess and sadness. 

"We weren't in any hurry. Please don't apologize for that." I lifted my head and smiled at her.

The corners of her lips twiched, I wasn't sure if that counted as a smile. "You are quite queer."

Given any other situation I probably would have burst out laughing. Now I merely blinked confused. "I don't know what you mean." 

"You are clearly here, yet it seems, that you are not. As if you don't quitw belong here."

I froze. Did she have psychic powers? 

Simething like a cuckle came from her. "Do not worry. I am merely curious." 

I didn't know why. I really didn't. I just opened my mouth and said: "I am from the future." 

She didn't laugh. She didn't raise an eyebrow. She didn't have me thrown out. "What is it like?" She asked as if we were talking about the weather.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Different." I shrugged. "The world is almost completely mechanized. We have cars everywhere. And the internet! It connects everyone from all around the world and you can look everything up everywhere." 

"Don't the monarchs disapprove of so much knowledge?"

I shook my head. "Freedom of speech and thought. Also there aren't any monarchs anymore. Mostly."

She leaned forward slightly, obviously interested. "Then who reigns over the people?"

"Uh... The chancelor? I don't know, democracy can be pretty confusing. We vote, everyone is allowed to." I bit my lower lip. "We vote the... congress? Oh, wait!" I pulled out my phone and unlocked it, typing and searching for a easy explanation of democracy and how it works. 

That's how it started. With democracy. Then political discussions. Then satire. Various breeds of dogs. Quiz shows. Horse riding tournaments. Fashion blogs. How to tie a tie correctly. Way too many pictures of cats. Travel journals from Asia. An episode or two of the sesame street. Even more pictures of cats.

Not even once she asked about anything about her or her family. I didn't dare to bring it up. 

In the end it wasn't the lack of interest that made us stop. It was the fatigue and my dying phone battery.

Before I could get up she slightly touched my sleeve. "Can I ask you one last question?" Her voice was quiet, her eyes downcast. 

"Of course." I smiled gently at her. She was a good person. A good person who had been through too much to leave her unscared.

"I am unable to enjoy physical love." She opened her mouth to say something else, but closed it again.

"We call it asexuality." 

Her head snapped up and her eyes widened. She probably hadn't expect that answer. "You know of it?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "It's a thing. Not exactly common, but there are quite a lot of people who feel the same." 

"How do you deal with these people?"

"Like with everyone else. Just cause they don't want to have sex doesn't make them any less of a person. There is plenty of stuff you can do with them. Get icecream. Watch a movie. Take a nice long walk. Hold hands if they want to." 

She looked down again. "Thank you." 

I bit my lower lip and carefully laid my hand on hers, looking into her eyes steadily. "You are not broken. You are worthy of love and you matter. No matter what."

She made a sound. I didn't know if it was a laugh or a sob. Maybe both. For a while we sat in silence, I felt her hand relaxing under mine. 

Eventually she took a deep breath and looked me in the eye. "Amalia will accompany you outside." She smiled. The realest smile I had seen from her. 

I stood up and bowed my head. "I wish you a good night." 

"You too." 

At the door I turned around again. She had gotten up. The biscuit was gone from its plate. With a smile I closed the door behind me. 

The lovely maid, Amalia, already waited for me. She smiled a bit more boldly. "Your companion is gone. Do you wish to stay here for the night? I can prepare a room for you." 

"I would love to spend the night. Do you think there is space for a second person in your bed?" I winked at her. 

Her face turned red. "M-Miss!" She cleared her throat. "My bed isn't very big, but it should be fine." She whispered, fingertips brushing my hand. 

I wrapped my hand around her waist. "Lead the way, Amalia." With my free hand I quickly send the Doctor a picture of a door and a sock. I always had it saved and ready to be send. 

Not even a minute later I got a thumbs up. In green. 

 

The next morning I woke up from my phone buzzing. Sleepily I answered it. "What?" 

"Good morning sleepyhead! Ready to go yet?" The Doctor greeted me cheerfully.  

"Fuck you." I moaned. He had probably used the TARDIS to get way more sleep than I did. 

"See you in an hour." He hung up. 

"Was that your companion?" Amalia asked from within my arms. 

"Yep. Gotta go." 

She looked sad. "Will I see you again?" 

"I hope so." I kissed her lovely lips and got up, gathering my clothes. 

Amalia got up too and helped me with the corset and my hair. When I was done I turned around to see her in nothing but her chemise. She just stood there, looking sad. 

I embraced her. "I will come back. I promise." 

She left a shy kiss on my cheek and smiled. "Looking forward to it."

 

Back in the TARDIS there was a card waiting for me. Congrats on the sex. I picked it up and just looked at the Doctor unimpressed. 

"Don't give me that look! You've been trying to get laid for weeks." He defended himself.

"We didn't have sex." I put the card back into his jacket. "Keep this for when we visit the next time." I winked. "Or maybe the time after that." 

He just laughed and started working on the console of the TARDIS. "Time to get you back home. You got an exam in three days."

"A week?"

"Five days."

"Okay, five days." I sighed in defeat.

 


End file.
